Türkiye’s Erdogan urges immediate reopening of the Strait of Hormuz.

Iran advances a bill that would criminalize interviews with U.S., Israeli, & other media deemed “hostile,” carrying up to 2 years in prison.

UFC: Islam Makhachev Next Fight

Jared Kushner meets directly with Hamas leaders in Egypt to push Trump’s Gaza peace plan.

China aims to build a closed-loop recycling system for EV batteries, wind equipment, & solar panels before 2030.

Sophie Cunningham's name banned from the r/WNBA subreddit.

Ferrari’s first production Luce EV sells for a record $40 million at charity auction.

Bitcoin has remained in the “Fire Sale” zone for longer than at any point in its history, according to the Bitcoin Rainbow Price Chart.

Trump declares that anyone who thinks the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool wasn’t vandalized should “go back to law school”

Granola sold nationwide on Amazon is recalled over potential salmonella contamination.

China’s burger market is booming, with the category projected to grow 8.7% annually through 2035 as Five Guys, Wendy’s, & more race to expand. — Reuters

Strait of Hormuz traffic nearly grinds to a halt, with just 5 commodity vessels crossing Saturday & zero on Sunday.

Mississippi 4th graders rank No. 1 in U.S. for reading & math score improvement since 2013, after ranking 49th in reading & 50th in math that year.

UC Berkeley calculus professor reveals some students are “five to eight years behind in mathematics,” blaming the university’s abandonment of SAT & ACT requirements.

Analysis reveals Bernie Sanders leads Congress in total social media following at 35.7 million, with AOC the only lawmaker close behind at 28.6 million

Anthropic's Claude is currently experiencing a "major outage."

Wanted man in the U.K. climbs onto a roof & refuses to surrender for 48 hours — officers wait until he falls asleep, then climb up & apprehend him.

Man arrested at Tokyo airport attempting to smuggle roughly 200 lizards stuffed inside 22 pairs of socks.

Trump orders U.S. to “substantially reduce” joint military exercises with South Korea, calling them inappropriate & hostile toward North Korea.

Stripe is reportedly nearing a deal to acquire AI platform OpenRouter for more than $7,000,000,000.00.

The 60-day US-Iran Memorandum of Understanding is set to expire tomorrow, with no extension agreed.

Axios partners with OpenAI to automate parts of its local news production.

Researchers warn violent AI “slop” videos could push young users toward increasingly graphic content & online radicalization.

Startup Amble launches a $345 “Oh Sh*t Bag” containing radiation exposure drugs in case of a nuclear catastrophe — available through Klarna’s buy-now-pay-later service.

Sergey Brin has reportedly now spent $102 million fighting California’s proposed billionaire tax.

CBS poll reveals 58% of Democrats now view socialism positively, compared with just 32% who view capitalism positively.

Cristiano Ronaldo reveals this season is “probably my last year of football.”

OpenAI’s “Astra” model now projected to be released within a month. 52% chance.

Greek officials urge Trump to pressure Britain into returning the Parthenon Marbles, saying he would be celebrated by the Greeks for “thousands of years.”

Hundreds of migrants stage a protest in Ceuta, chanting “We don’t want to go back to Morocco” & demanding asylum.

NYC Mayor Mamdani delivers an announcement entirely in Mandarin Chinese, unveiling 2,000+ free Broadway tickets for students.

“Spider-Man: Brand New Day” officially surpasses $2,000,000,000.00 worldwide after just three weekends.

Crypto wallet provider SafePal discloses a data breach exposing personal & purchase information for nearly 40,000 customers.

Belgium’s largest wildfire on record advances toward the German border.

Pet owners are increasingly giving their dogs & cats experimental anti-aging treatments, including rapamycin, peptides, & red light therapy. — Bloomberg

Vivek Ramaswamy surges to reclaim the lead in the odds for Ohio governor. 53% chance.

Nvidia reportedly in talks to invest up to $3 billion in SoftBank’s SB Energy to help develop a massive OpenAI data center in Ohio.

Ro Khanna proposes taxing billionaire founders by letting them pledge shares for government loans, with the government able to “assume the shares” if unpaid.

Anthropic CEO announces the company is “ramping up” its efforts in biology & medicine, with early results potentially coming within months.

Who will be evicted from Big Brother this week?

Tesla’s Model 3 & Model Y are ranked the most American-made vehicles of 2026, beating every Ford & GM model.

Dario Amodei reveals he’s “very supportive” of the Trump administration’s reported plan to require pre-deployment testing for frontier AI models.

Argentina Monthly Inflation - August

Mobile game that lets players role play being UK prime minister surges to No. 1 on Apple’s paid games chart, overtaking Minecraft.

Erdogan reveals Egypt may join the Türkiye-Saudi Arabia-Pakistan “Mecca Pact,” which treats an attack on one member as an attack on all.

Squirtle Price Up/Down on August 31?

South Korea reportedly fired warning shots after multiple North Korean soldiers crossed the military demarcation line last week.

Trump demands the Senate immediately pass permanent daylight saving time, declaring more evening sunlight is “better” & could help fight crime.

New website “Have I Been Flocked” lets drivers check whether law enforcement has searched their license plate in Flock camera databases.

Anti-AI activists storm OpenAI’s office dressed as “rogue AI agents.”

Anthropic CEO Dario Amodei predicts AI could make it possible to “cure most human disease” within 5-10 years.

Nicki Minaj officially endorses Byron Donalds for Florida Governor.

CZ declares owning 1 full Bitcoin could become “difficult even for millionaires” as supply tightens.

New South Wales launches a gun buyback program after the Bondi Beach attack, offering owners up to A$10,000 to surrender firearms.

California Uber driver reveals Tesla’s Full Self-Driving now handles 95% of his driving, with his Uber safety score rising from 70% to 98%.

Mark Cuban declares chips will become “the new crypto” as an asset class.

Trump hints at a 2028 presidential run in latest Truth Social post.

Tesla & SpaceX merger projected to be announced by the end of next year. 55% chance.

Prince Harry & Meghan Markle’s new documentary “Cookie Queens” was beaten at the box office by a compilation of viral cat videos.

Hundreds of migrants rush toward Spain’s Ceuta enclave weeks after the massive border rush, with Moroccan police making over 100 arrests.

New bioengineered chewing gum slashes HPV levels by up to 93% while targeting bacteria linked to head & neck cancer.

Democrats officially make South Carolina the first contest of the 2028 presidential primary calendar.

Hurricane Lala strengthens to Category 1 as it approaches Hawaii’s Big Island, which has not seen a direct hurricane landfall in 155 years.

The number of U.S. homebuyers falls to the lowest level on record, with sellers outnumbering buyers by more than 50%.

Further substantive progress on the Riemann Hypothesis by…?

Belgian construction workers find $10 million in gold bars & coins bricked into a cellar wall during renovations.

Minnesota officials reveal Cam Higby may face legal consequences after wearing a burqa & posing as a voter to test election safeguards.